Last night I queued up for a random dungeon on my 76 Mage and found myself in Drak’Tharon Keep. I will save you most of the details on the run because that’s not the real point of this post. I want to point out the efforts of one specific individual that ran through there with us though, a level 72 Rogue named Bankpaul. The PUG itself went just fine with a level 80 Pally Tank and a level 80 Pally healer, but I have to call out this Rogue for his horrible performance.
I knew after our run last night that I wanted to blog about the experience, but I didn’t want to come right out and spew insults at him. Luckily when I logged into Twitter this morning I saw that Arrens had posted Arrens.net’s Real Men of Genius this morning and it gave me a nice outlet for talking about this special little rogue without being overly insulting.
To give credit where it’s due, the first of this type of post that I ever saw actually came from Darraxus in his Real Azeroth Heroes posts: Mr. Overgeared and cocky so I pull everything and wipe you guy, Mr. I Got my Mammoth Mount so I can stand on the mailbox guy, Mr. Annoying Trade Chat Spammer Guy, Mr. 800 DPS at level 80 guy, Mr. Retardin with Rez Sickness, Mr. Auctionhouse Instant Undercutter, Mr. Meleekin, Mr. Undergeared Overconfident Tank.
Now it’s my turn:
Psynister’s Notebook presents: Real PUGs of Failure.
(Real PUGs of Faaiiiluuurre)
Today we salute you Mr. All I Can Do Is Auto-Attack Guy.
(Mr. All I Can Do Is Auto-Attaaaack Guy!)
You’ve set for us the real goal for excellent DPS,
With auto-attack, Sinister Strike, and an occasional Eviscerate.
(See my shiny daggers!)
Pushing damage per second to over 300,
And being carried by your level 80 tank buddy.
(Be nice to my buddy!)
If there’s trash mobs, you’ll stand there.
If there’s a boss, then you’ll hide.
And if there’s a critter, you’ll run screaming like a girl.
(Save me from the squirrels!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, 300 DPS Boy.
You know the key to clearing every instance, and the two buttons required to do it with.
(Mr. All I Can Do Is Auto-Attaaack Guuyyy!)
Amory Link: Bankpaul